June 30, 2010

Found in the garbage outside DC headquarters

Some apparently rejected Wonder Woman origin retcons

Hey Dan,

We need to bring a modern edge to the character. Maybe something rapey? Like, Hipolyta got raped, and then WW gets raped, and gets a magic flashback of the rape that created her, and realizes that her true power comes from love.


To Dan, Re: WW Origin

Time travel. Space flight. Undersea adventure. SIDEWAYS time travel. Insect kingdom. New powers incl. telepathy but it only works on herself. STATIONARY time travel. Flashback: Everyone's dead WAIT another flashback: everyone's alive! Alien donkey turtle monsters attack, Bracelets off, BERZERKER RAGE. Wonder Tot behind it all, revealed as the big bad of the series. When do I start?


Dear Dan,

Any chance she could pass the mantle of Wonder Woman to a middle-aged white guy?


Dear Dan,

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground was where she spent most of her days,
chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool and all, shootin some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good started makin trouble in her neiborhood, so she snapped their necks on live television.

-Brad again


Cap'n Carrot said...

That last one is pretty good, though I'm trying to figure out who would wear all the ugly sweaters. Donna? And would Cassie be the one that wants to have a music career?

The Riddler said...


Anika said...

@Cap'n Carrot -- well, *I* want Cassie to have a music career, now ;)

Wolkin said...

Dear Dan,

So it's like this: Wonder Woman was raised in a Catholic monastery during World War II where she got into constant physical altercations with the nuns for questioning issues of women's rights. Then she flew a plane and blew up all the Nazis, had sex with an angel and got turned into a telepathic assassin.

Whaddaya think?


Evie said...

Rucka actually wrote the neck-snappin story, but he doesn't work for DC anymore so I can see why Brad would reuse it.

Ethan Hoddes said...

That last one from Wolkin could also be Frank Miller. Right down to "everyone is Catholic".

Actually, George Perez's version did have Hippolyta getting raped, although that's also pretty much implicit in the Golden Age version (I wouldn't be surprised if that got airbrushed out in the Silver Age.

Quinton Peeples said...

I'm sorry. This stuff is magic. Truly made me laugh. Thanks Awesomed!

Mark said...

I'd read the crap out of Grant's Wonder Woman.

Clownschnitzel said...

Pure gold. And frankly, I'd be more excited for some of these than I am for the Straczynski one.

Nick Jones said...

I'll just bet that Geoff Johns is busy working on that Steve Trevor: Wonder Woman pitch even as I type this.

JAQ said...

One of my favorite elements from Phil Jimenez's run writing Wonder Woman was the introduction of "Wonder Boy". I'd love to see them pass the patriotic bathing suit on to him for a year.

Ethan Hoddes said...

Oh, and speaking of Wonder Tot http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2010/07/06/i-love-ya-but-youre-strange-3/

www.3wae.com said...