Taking her ball and going home

I'm not usually one to spend too much time prognosticating on plot resolutions, because I like to be surprised. But because I'm a bit sick and am feeling a little snotty both literally and figuratively, I would like to note that in a post on November 13 I wrote this, about how the whole "100,000 Kryptonians on Earth" thing in Superman/Action/Supergirl could possibly solve itself:

Either the world ends, or they all die in a General Lane Kryptonite attack, or Superman improbably convinces them all to behave forever, or somebody finds them an empty but perfectly inhabitable planet orbiting a yellow sun that they can all go be powerful and autonomous on. Ok, that one is probably the most plausible. But that seems a little anti-climactic.

Ok so nobody "found" them anything, but in this week's Action Comics #873 (supposedly a Lex Luthor Faces of Evil thing that had very little Luthor in it but whatever), that bitchy Alura-El (or Alura Zor-El? How does that work?) picked up the giant chunk of the Arctic Circle that New Kandor was sitting on and built a planet out of that Kryptonian crystal crap and put it in orbit around our sun, opposite Earth so that we'd never see each other, because neener neener meanie cooties. Also I don't think that's how orbits work and the gravitational pull of New Krypton would probably end all life as we know it, but hey, better than a bunch of beligerant Kryptonians flying all up in people's grills I guess.

On a related note, do you ever write down the plot summary of a comic book and think, "what?"

ABC Podcast, Episode #17 and visual aids

This episode of Awesomed By Comics is brought to you by the Today is Aaron's Birthday Company! And also John Cafferty and his Superhero Knock-Knock Jokes and Karaoke, Inc. Evie gives accolades to green-costumed man-on-man action, and Aaron totally has a thing for submarines. Several new indie series impress, and Vixen proves that she can still be awesome after a rough year.

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Cover(s) of the Week

Aaron's Pick: Vixen--Return of the Lion #1, cover by Cafu (or Joshua Middleton?)


Evie's Pick: Supergirl #34, cover by Joshua Middleton


Panel(s) of the Week

Evie's Pick: from DC Universe: Decisions #2, by Judd Winick and Bill Willingham, art by Howard Porter


Aaron's Pick: From Sub-Mariner--The Depths #2, by Peter Milligan and Esad Ribic

Aquafresh.

Hey, does everyone remember this Final Crisis cover, where it appeared as though our 17 year-old friend Supergirl was perhaps signaling that she might like something special put right there because this big bad awful final crisis was just so darn scary?


But WHAT?!

What could she have possibly been telling horny fanboys all across this great nation that she would like put right there? What do young, innocent, impossibly sexy girls want to put right there, right where Supergirl is pointing?

You'll be happy to know that Marv Wolfman and Phil Winslade have your answer in this week's Brave and the Bold.





Why, it's toothpaste of course! White, gooey, sticky, runny, not-at-all-suggestive toothpaste! I'll bet you're all embarassed now, you dirtyheaded gutterminds.

Deerm-bom-bom. Chick. Chicka-chicka.

Aaron enjoys making fun of me for liking 80s music, even though I don't like 80s music any more than most people who grew up in the 80s--you know it's so wrong but sometimes it's just so right. Thing is it's Aaron playing every instrument in the opening and closing music of our podcast, and you know how those people are. Anyway, often he'll accuse me of loving some crap synth-heavy song, like last weekend when I was an alleged fan of that "Oh Yeah" song from the end of Ferris Bueller's Day Off (ok, I probably thought it was totally rad when I was nine). That made me think not of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, though, but of the other movie in which that song had prominent placement, 1987's The Secret of My Success starring Michael J. Fox and Helen Slater (it's during the scene where they're all trying to sneak into each other's bedrooms at the mansion, totally madcap!). And of course with that comes thoughts of what a cute Supergirl Helen Slater was, and wondering what on Krypton ever happened to that fine lady.

And then via Journalista I inexplicably follow a link about the Super Mega Show in Wayne, NJ this weekend, and get the hell out of here, Helen herself is a Very Special Guest. Along with Adam West, Julie Newmar and Lee Merriwether, a confluence of campy comic book adaptation star power that makes the word balloon around the photo of Adam West exclaim "Holy fireworks!" And how, right? But THAT'S NOT ALL. Erik Estrada. Nicole Eggert. Nicole's one-time Super Mario co-star Lou Albano. Nia Peeples. A shitload of WWE folks and also, Erik Estrada. With the original CHiPs patrol car that you can take your picture with.

Now, I've always had a vague knowledge of these kinds of things occurring all over the planet, and I saw Lou Ferrigno at San Diego two years ago, I know one-time stars do the con circuit. But I don't think I'd really grasped the severity of sadness that these things can be. For a split second I thought of going, since we live half an hour away, but Aaron said he couldn't bear to see Julie Newmar in that state, as she in a Catwoman suit was the first image ever that made him feel tingly down there. Even before this one.

Oh, also, Green Lantern artist Ethan Van Sciver will be there, so I can only conclude that he's from Wayne or an adjacent township. Another fun fact about Wayne: one time we were driving through it and passed an actual fountain store with a giant sign that said "Fountains of Wayne." So now you know.